An interesting field of study I have briefly researched (i.e. read a few books but no formal training) is Neural Linguistics Programming (NLP).

I am by no means an expert in NLP and am not promoting it here.  There are parts of NLP that do seem a bit odd and “out there” for me but other parts of it may serve to be useful in change management type situations.

NLP is not new. It has been around since the 1970’s but from my experience few have heard of it. I only stumbled upon it after a colleague referred me to a book. Rather than offering a thorough explanation of NLP I want to address a few key aspects this evening; specifically, building rapport, mirroring, pacing, and leading.

Rapport

A key to leading change is the ability to “connect” with the people you are working with. Good leaders of change or even good sales people, for example, are those able to quickly build rapport with their clients.

NLP teaches that rapport happens when we get the attention of another person’s unconscious mind and meet them at what they refer to as the others person’s “map of their world.” Yeah, I know it sounds a bit like some psycho babble… but stay with me.

A key point to remember is that you cannot “cause” rapport but you can influence it as we will soon discuss.

Mirroring

A technique we can use to help influence rapport building is mirroring. It’s safe to say that it’s easier to build rapport with people we like and subsequently like us. Why is this? There are many reasons of course… but one key reason is that we are similar in some way and/or have things in common with each other. The next time you see an older couple eating in a restaurant take note of their similarities. Chances are their actions will mirror one another. Everything from their posture, body language, and even the way they speak likely resembles one another. Why is this? They have grown so close to one another over the years that their actions and demeanor mirror one another.

So if you want to give mirroring a shot here are some tips. Does the person you are dealing with use their hands a lot when they talk? If so, mirror this.

Is the person high energy? If so, you need to turn up the juice a bit thus matching their behavior.

What about the words this person uses when they speak? Are they more visual in the way they speak? For example, they may say “I see what you mean.” Or perhaps they are more kinesthetic and say things like, “I just feel like you’re not listening to me.” My wife is very kinesthetic so when she is “feeling” I need to do my best to meet her on this level. I could do this by responding, “I didn’t know you felt this way. Let me try to do a better job.” The basic idea here is to mirror the way this person talks which may help you connect with them thus building rapport.

Pacing & Leading

The old phrase, “If you lead they will follow” perfectly sums up the concepts of pacing and leading. When you successfully meet someone at their “map of world” you are pacing. Then as you bring this person along with you on your change initiative you are leading.

Here is how you can test this. Try to mirror one aspect of someone you know. Once you think you may have built rapport and are pacing and leading scratch your nose or make some other type of noticeable gesture. If within the next few moments this person does the same thing you may have lead their behavior.

Be Careful

Some have likened NLP to brain washing. I even heard an NLP proponent once say that it is indeed brain washing. But his next remark was that we are attempting to brain wash people everyday via training, meetings, etc.

Final Remarks

As with anything NLP should never be used in a negative or devious manner. This would be the dead opposite of respect for people. So if you are not trying to influence a situation in a positive manner please forget everything I just discussed. Really, forget it. Please.

For more reading on NLP click here.

I did some hansei today on my drive home from work and realized I have been too grumpy lately. I jumped all over the airlines industry… then went after some software folks… and then tonight I had prepared to pummel a company for charging me for a product I never received.

However, after reflecting on things a bit I realized my complaining is doing very little to help these companies improve. The true spirit of Lean and Six Sigma is to help people… not bash them.

This was driven home when I read a recent comment left by a poster who bashed someone else. I flew back at this person… then realized my recent attitudes have been just as rotten.

So no complaining or bashing tonight. Instead, I am planning out how I can help the software company I bashed here improve their process. I am not sure I can help the airlines out much so perhaps I will leave them for another day.

An extremely powerful, yet often misused, tool is pluses and deltas. I say misused since 9 out of 10 people I know (including MANY consultants) do not know how to do them properly.

What are they?

The easiest way to do pluses and deltas is to simply write “plus” and “delta” while drawing a line down the middle onto flip chart paper. The basic idea is after a meeting or training class (especially training classes) each person in the meeting or class will write on post-it notes things they liked about the session (pluses) and things they thought could be improved (deltas). Each person should leave at least one plus and delta before leaving.

The biggest mistake

The biggest mistake people make with pluses and deltas revolves around the proper definition of a delta. Deltas are NOT complaints. For example, if the room was too hot during the day a complaint would be “the room was too hot.” A delta would be “please make the room cooler.” There is a big difference.

The reason this is so important is because the person running the meeting or training class should act on every delta they can. For example, I was running a Six Sigma training class once and got a delta “please provide sweet tea in afternoon.” This was an excellent delta since I could act on it – and I did. Subsequently, the next day there was a plus saying “thanks for the sweet tea!” Little acts like getting someone sweet tea can turn a good training session or meeting into a great one. So if all you get are complaints it can be hard to act on them. Good deltas, however, are easy to act on.

Second biggest mistake

The second biggest mistake people make is to argue or debate with the class or meeting attendees about deltas. If someone wants the room cooler don’t make any wise comments like, “I thought the temperature was fine.” As an administrator of the meeting or training class what you think matters little.

Lastly, when running through the pluses and deltas with the participants (at end of the day or start of the next day) start with the deltas and end with the pluses. It makes things happier.

If you don’t use pluses and deltas you are missing a great opportunity to hold better meetings and training classes. Give it a try and watch how much better things are when you do them correctly!

Until next time, I wish you all the best on your journey towards continuous improvement.

Most of us have encountered individuals I call CAVE people. These people are:

Citizens
Against
Virtually
Everything

You can likely name one or two CAVE people right away. In my experience there is no easy way to deal with them. They are often unhappy people and arguing and complaining seems to help them cope with their bitterness.

My advice is to never enter into an argument or debate with them. Instead, try getting to the root of the issue. In some cases you may be able to uncover the real issue causing their unhappiness, which is probably not your Lean or Six Sigma initiative.

By simply talking to this person and listening, really listening, you may be able to help them turn the corner towards a happier life. To me, this is the most important continuous improvement of all.

Until next time, I wish you the best on your journey towards continuous improvement.